The question that lit a spark.
I’d like to thank a new friend for asking me the simplest and most difficult question I have faced in some time. "What is exciting for you today?" I stared at her blankly in response. “What is exciting for me today?” I had nothing. I felt shock and dismay. She said she'd come back to me, as we were with a group of people, but later, still nothing. I was struck with the realization that I have been stuck in a ditch. I am floundering. I am lost. Truth be told, most days I don't even get out of my pj's.
If you follow me on social media, you know that my posts look like life is good - and it is! I can recognize and enjoy everything that is positive in my life and there is a lot that I am thankful for and that I love. But I didn’t feel like that was what my friend was asking me about. What came to mind for me was the bigger picture. What is going on for me in the bigger picture of my life? What I wondered immediately is “What exciting thing are you doing about fulfilling the meaning of your life?” That’s the question I heard and that’s the question I could not answer.
I have an empty spot inside me, even with the wonderful life I live. I have no SENSE OF PURPOSE. I believe the void that exists inside me has something to do with what I am meant to do with my life. Something, still unknown to me, sits just out of my reach, just beyond my grasp. It’s frustrating and sad. I have a sense that my life was meant for something big - something exciting - and not knowing what that is, leaves me with the feeling that I am wasting a gift that I am meant to share. I think that if I could just figure out what that gift is, I would be able to fill that big space with light and joy. The hole is the place reserved for my purpose.
"What is exciting for you today?" “What exciting thing are you doing about fulfilling the meaning of your life?” This question has lit a spark in me. It has given me new direction for seeking my purpose. It made me realize that whatever it is I am supposed to be doing, it is exciting. It reminded me of what to look for.
Thanks again S, you know who you are. Xo