The crash of 2017

The crash of 2017

Photo by Baloncici/iStock / Getty Images

Photo by Baloncici/iStock / Getty Images

Can’t. Stop. Frantic. Working. Doing. Learning. Pushing. Growing. and Working some more!

For me, this is a frenzied temporary state that I move in and out of constantly. My energy and enthusiasm rides an ebb and flow cycle.

Any of you ever have a similar experience?

I know not everyone is like this, but I sure am. I’m the kind of person who tends to have big ups and downs and I’m in an upswing of flow right now. Things are happening for me and I am super excited about everything that’s coming my way. So here is why it's poignant for me to write about it today:

Typically at the height of this energetic, thrilling, and often breathless time - I throw on the brakes. Pull on the reigns. Run screaming for the hills. It’s a form of self sabotage, for sure, and it’s definitely fear taking over.

What happens, for those of you that aren't the same, is this; I start to fuss, worry, stress - because my history tells me that with the flow comes the ‘inevitable’ ebb. I start back-pedalling, trying to take back all the energy I’ve put out there. Conserve it to survive through the impending crash. Preserve it and retreat!!! My instinct is to run and hide. Arms up, covering myself, in defence of the blow; braced against the crash…

But hey! Maybe this is what’s actually CAUSING the ebb… the scary dip in energy, loss of enthusiasm and lack of motivation?

What IF… with mindfulness, I could BALANCE out these hills and valleys? More like this:

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Instead of like this:

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What if I used what I learned in the last downturn THROUGHOUT the upswing, instead of what’s typical for me - abandoning all ships of routine (and even reason), throwing everything (including wisdom) out the window?? What if I stuck to my meditation, my yoga, my journalling and my focus ALL THE TIME - What if?

The second wavy image is so me it hurts. I am a phoenix that rises from my own ashes and then burns out again because I don’t stay the course with the work that keeps me sane and because I jam on the breaks every time I’m flying high, trying to avoid an out of control crash. Over and over and over again.

So the 'what if?'... Thankfully, overall, despite possibly being wired this way (but more likely, just having self-sabotaging HABITS), I have a growth mindset. I am actually ever striving to be better today than I was yesterday. I aim to learn something new and grow ever more, each day, and so I will apply myself to my growth habits. I will keep meditating to improve focus, keep journaling for self-reflection, keep setting goals and sticking to them.

Care to join me on the journey? I love to have allies. Thank you for sharing in my story; I am honoured to have you know it.

 

“ ‘What if I fall?’ you ask. -

Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?”       ― Erin Hanson

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How to do what I want to do.

How to do what I want to do.